Train To Unknown

29/07/2018


Crave for changes, yet fear changes.

Thousands of "What If", it is holding me back. I was so desperate to get out of there before this, but now that I can, I held back.

I thought I've had everything sorted out and planned. When confronted with questions about my plan, my brain shuts down. Truth is, I'm lost. I'm scared. I'm very worried. The unpredictable makes my lips shiver when I should be firm with my own decision.

I need to make a decision. It's either a step forward and off I go on a new path, or I remain on the same spot and admit defeat. I don't want to be the latter, yet I'm not even sure if I can do well for the former.

I'm going to appear as a immature, impulsive teenager, but I know I don't belong there. So many voices, questioning me, destroying my enthusiasm. Yet my heart calls me to get out of this place. It would have been great if I was surrounded by encouragement, instead of the injections they gave me so that I'm well warned about the tough adult-working world. Thanks for the heads up. I was aware but after all the constant reminders, I'm starting to imagine dragons and T-Rex at my future workplace. Good thing that I will be expecting the worst, bad thing that I might shit my pants before even stepping into that world.

Nonetheless, I do look forward to being able to have a source of income through my own hardwork, and not money in my hands from my Mom's wallet. I know it's definitely not going to be easy, but I'm looking forward to see what will happen to my life after making this decision!

Do something about it if it bothers you,
even if it makes you shake in fear.

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